Thursday, January 5, 2012

So It Isn't All Me

So - we actually went to bed together and as soon as the lights were out and we snuggled up my husband made a snarky comment that totally turned me off.  So I started the internal dialog of "I am not going to break my resolution this early on."  Okay - so I should have had a reasonable conversation with him right there about how that comment not only made me angry but that it instantly ruined the moment for me.  I did let him know that his comment was out of line and wrong.  I didn't scream or yell - I just let him know that I didn't appreciate it.

Really it was a silly comment about crumbs in the bed and as he put it "You must have allowed someone to eat on my side of the bed".  But the accusatory tone just sent me off - there had been no eating in the bed - except for his popcorn - which by the way was on my side of the bed.  But after a day filled with work, laundry, practices, homework and cleaning - I was so ready for some alone time to relax and then I get the comment that I failed to keep his bed clean.  Yes I know overreaction - I own it. Don't get the idea that he is some man expecting me to make his life perfect - we are a team - but that just ruined the night for me.

Now I think he instantly felt it - and was sorry he said it - although there was no apology.  We did snuggle up and sleep - no sex, I was glad he didn't initiate it - although I am sure that it was from my reaction to his statement.

With some time to think about it - I should have let him know exactly how drastically that comment changed my mood..  However, I will give him credit - he has learned something in his 21 years with me.  This morning he allowed me to sleep in - he got my daughter off to school - I usually get up and get her breakfast and lunch even though she is 16 and capable of this on her own.  He let me sleep, got her off to school and even made breakfast for me - he woke me at 7:00 when he left and gave me a kiss as he left for work.  The goodbye kiss is not a regular routine at our house so I think that all of this was his apology - and I will take it - actions speak louder than words.

I have high hopes for tonight - we are going out to dinner with some friends - just the adults!


  1. In hindsight, do you now wish you had told him you were going to initiate (not in those exact words of course)but his comment destroyed the mood? Not as a way of punishing him or course, just to let him know the part he played in your losing interest. It was a teaching opportunity after all. Now that I think about it, that wouldn't have been the time of place. But it still needed to be discussed later. Did you? As you can tell, I am not reading ahead as I comment.

    1. No I didn't. Guess he will find out soon enough as he gets to read the blog in just a few weeks!