Friday, January 13, 2012

Not Good Enough

So I know from reading other blogs and threads that what I am about to say may have some people smacking their heads but - I am really disappointed at the state of my sex life so far in 2012.  It is the 13th and we have had sex 5 times, now again I know that is still a pretty good average but remember that by the morning of the 2nd we had already had sex 3 times - so that means only 2 times in 11 days.  I did notice a slow down in the last two years which is why I made this resolution.  There have been peaks and slow times in our marriage but generally there was sex at least every other night for the bulk of our marriage - this is despite kids and cancer.   In the last few years we have fallen way off that average.

Here are the road blocks so far: working late (1 night), husband sick (2 nights), natures monthly visitor (2 nights) so if I look at it that way I can see that out of those 11 days, we connected 2 times, had good excuses 5 times and 4 times just didn't make the effort.

This is not acceptable - we need to get back to every other night - or better.  I'm so glad that I am keeping track - it might seem a little clinical or odd to take such a matter of fact look at this - but I really think that something like this will lead to other issues in my marriage.  Taking action now and examining these roadblocks is key to getting back on track.

I often work late at night after the kids go to bed - I think the next step is to find a cut off time and put my work away at that time to make sure I am open and available to my husband.

Happy Friday the 13th!

1 comment:

  1. Wow! I hope you got past this. I guess you figured out later you were setting the bar artifically high and giving frequency too much weight in the experience. I wonder if this thought process then caused you to put pressue on yourself to initiate when he didn't because you felt you needed to keep points appearing on the board for it to be a well-played, winning game? Kind of like losing 10 lbs in two weeks on Weight Watcher's old "Quick Start" program and then being disheartened by a 2 or 3 lb loss in the third week. You still lost 12 or 13 lbs in three weeks, but you somehow feel you failed in the 3rd week. We're such unforgiving creatures when it comes to ourselves. Did you hear any disgruntled remarks from DH? I'll bet not.