Monday, March 2, 2015

Ugh

Okay - I would like a re-do on the last week or so.  Between the snow and ice and cancellations and my mood.  BLAH.

Trying to see the positives, I have a nice warm home, with my family, I have wine and food and the ability to work from home.

The negatives - I am cranky.

Everyone else in the house is either a student or an employee of the school system so they are off with nothing to do.  They are all stuck with me in my 'office'.

There were two nights in a row that I made dinner and brought it down into the bar area so we could watch a movie together.  We ate on paper plates so mess was minimal.  My husband carried the serving dishes up when the movie was over and put them in the kitchen.  He didn't clean them up - he just left them on the counter.  It was early when he went up, 8 one night and 9 the next, both nights he just left them there for me and went to bed.  He didn't bother to wash them or throw them in the dishwasher.  The first night I was annoyed, the second night I was bitter.  I did let him know how annoyed I was and message was received, he helped clean up dinner the third night.

Sex has been non-existent, and that probably leads to the crankiness for both of us.  He has been in bed snoring way early and then last night his sleep schedule must have been all screwed up because I went to bed at 11:30 and fell asleep before he came in.  He slept in this morning - no school due to weather but I had to get out of bed for early meetings.

I'm honestly not feeling it tonight - I am just feeling bitchy - but I will make an effort a real effort. Even as I write this I am doubting my ability to go all in.  We need to break out of the funk so I need to get it done.


Thursday, February 26, 2015

Out of Sync or in a Lull

Hello folks.

It has been a snowy cold few weeks here.  I did manage to sneak away for a fantastic ski trip to Killington with my youngest sons.  My sister rented a house and invited us up - I was just going to make a 3 day trip with my youngest son, but with snow in the forecast for the week I took my older son figuring he would be out of school anyway.

We ended up being able to stay 5 days because snow at home had the schools closed the boys didn't miss a thing.  We stopped in PA on the way home to visit my daughter at college - ended up snowed in at my sisters house.

It was a great vacation - with some great sex when I got home after being gone for a week we were overdue!

But to be quite honest since being home and having that pretty amazing night of sex followed by a morning session we have been pretty out of sync.  It is times like this when I start to wonder if in our late 40s after being together for more than 27 years if we are slowing down - or if this is just a natural lull that will pick back up.  I of course am hoping it is a lull - I'm too young to be slowing down, hopefully I will always be too young to be slowing down.

This is one of the busiest times for us - boys are wrestling and playing basketball - there is practice every day.  

My daughter's season has started and so we are traveling to those games.  The days are short and cold. I think we are just exhausted and my husband is clued into the fact that sometimes I need sleep.  Unfortunately the nights I need sleep don't seem to be the same nights he needs sleep.

I honestly can't remember ever being refused by my husband so I know he is always ready when I am wanting to break out of the lull.

And to make me feel better about where I am in life and in my relationship all I need to do is look at what is going on around me.  My oldest son has a friend that is ending a 5 year relationship - they are 19 and 21 and they have had sex 2 times in 6 months.  The only time we had a track record like that is when my husband was serving on an air craft carrier in the Persian Gulf.

I am having a healthy glass of wine - it is only 10:15 and we are both still awake!  I predict some action tonight.  In fact there is the possibility of a two hour delay for school tomorrow which could mean some action in the morning as well.

So how about some totally of the subject feedback.  My daughter's first game is on Saturday - it is 4 hours and 8 minutes away according to Google and it will mean I miss my son's basketball game (I haven't missed one yet this season).  Do I go for it and head up to my daughter's game?  I am going to her game on Tuesday (that one is only 2 hours away)?

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day

Two post in one month - pretty good.

We don't really celebrate Valentine's Day.  Funny that we decorate a little bit - wonder if we will continue to do that when the kids are older?  We don't go out or do presents.  My husband did pick up some flowers and Hershey Kisses yesterday but that is not out of the norm.  Today was a normal Saturday for us, we cleaned and went to watch the little boys play basketball.  After the game it was home for dinner and a movie.

So since my last post I have been paying attention to my behaviors and have been emotionally and physically available to my husband.  I'm glad that at this point just paying attention and being aware of the barriers I put up is all that I need to do to get back to where I want to be.

One thing I am noticing is that I am quick to communicate when I am not happy about something and not as quick with compliments.  So my goal for this month is to complain less and compliment more. I'm afraid this won't be as easy to accomplish - but maybe I will surprise myself.

I'll check back next week to report on my progress!


Monday, February 2, 2015

Anybody There?

So I've been away so long I forgot how to log in - took some doing but after a few attempts I lucked into the password.

I'm still here.  I really fell off the blog universe for a long time.  Still living the 'yes' life about 85%, looking to get back to 100%.

I'm not sure how much I will post but I do miss it - so we will see what happens.

Lets see - I'm older now 45.  I'm fatter now, ugh metabolism changes have hit me pretty hard.  Working on getting my fit back!

My oldest son recently got married, he and his new wife and their 90 pound dog are currently living with us.  My husband and I are fine with this - they are both recent college graduates, have continuing studies going on and are saving for a house.

My daughter is in college and loving it.  She is an athlete, in the honors program, an RA and working in the admissions office.  Her season starts at the end of the month and I am so looking forward to driving all over the east coast to watch her play.

My two little guys are growing into fine young men.  I forgot how fun puberty can be but this second 'litter' of kids is reminding me.

So how do I get back to 100%.  First step - look at the factors keep me at 85%.  I know what they are and I know that I often do them on purpose.


  1. Staying up later than my husband - this is a big one for me. This is the number one roadblock.
  2. Not initiating when I want sex.  I have to do more than be there and apparently I really suck at sending out the proper signals.  This is the number two roadblock.
  3. Letting little things annoy me and then withholding sex.  Argh - old habits, but this doesn't happen often at all. Again this is my old standby of turning my back to my husband in bed and making myself unavailable.  This has only happened once or twice - but is really a very juvenile way to handle being annoyed with my husband.  

So anyone want to place bets on whether I am really back????

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Hi there

So I fell off the face of the blog earth for a while.  I just didn't have the pull that I had when this was my little secret blog.

I did miss the updates, the updates from others and the interaction - but the longer I was away the odder it felt to come back.

Life is good - work is kicking my ass.  Just celebrated 10 years since last chemo and still healthy.  Still love my husband - still saying yes!

Kids are good.  Son is going to graduate college in 3 years - with a 3.9.  Daughter is finishing up her senior year in style and having a great lacrosse season.  Little boys keep me moving and continue to grow so I won't be able to call them the little boys much longer.

I'm glad you all were still checking on me.  I will try to post once a week and I promise that post from my husband with his reaction - even if I have to bribe him with sexual favors!

Monday, January 14, 2013

I know you are waiting

I know you are waiting for the reaction from Mr. Yes.  I promise this week.  Hopefully he will have time tonight and tomorrow night for some more reading and reflection.

Random snipits of what is going on :

Last week was another busy one for us.  The oldest headed off to college out of state.  His first class starts in 30 minutes - very exciting and very sad all the same.  He is 19 and is really living like an adult for the first time which is so cool.  But at the same time he will never be part of the family in the same way again.  I am excited for what his future holds and for getting to know the adult in him.  Our daughter was in the school's one act play performance Friday and Saturday - we are still struggling to get all the stage make up off.  She was a pink pig and there is still a distinct pink to her cheeks. 

Guess what I did - I finished a bj with a happy ending!  I know pretty cool.  Things have been pretty adventurous in the bedroom so I had the benefit of him being thoroughly warmed up before I started and that may be the key.  So moving forward as I work on this the key seems to be not to start specifically with that.

Just to make this post totally all over the place I will share that my two football teams did not do well this week.  Notre Dame is my college team - I didn't attend but my parents met and married there and I was raised on ND football.  The Bronco's are my team by marriage and they totally blew it against Baltimore.  Thank goodness hockey is back.  I just got the schedule yesterday and can't wait to see my Capitals take the ice!!!

On another side note - my Christmas decorations are still out.  With the unexpected hospitals stays, support calls for work, kids headed out to college, basketball, wrestling, my daughters play and football there just hasn't been in any time.  I am capped on vacation at work - I have 4 weeks on the books and won't earn any more until I use some so I think I will take Thursday, Friday and Monday off to get everything put away.

And finally - I haven't had to use my inhaler in 5 days.  So today I will start exercising.  I am less than 4 months from my next half marathon and about 10 pounds from my target weight.  I think I will do a mix of P90X and running with a little dance thrown in there.  






Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Just had a good idea!

So I thought this might be fun.  Let's interview Mr. Yes.  I can come up with questions - but if there are some you guys want to contribute I think that would be a lot of fun.

I imagine it would be hard to respond to a year's worth of posts especially on a private subject.

Direct questions might be easier.

So bring it - can be related to a specific post, or comment, or anything else (sports, chickens - whatever you want).  He will answer what he wants to and ignore those that he isn't comfortable with.

You can leave a comment here with your question or you can send it to email if you want.

My email is dontsayno2012@gmail.com.

So tell us what you absolutely need to know!