Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Score One For Me

I did it - I initiated.  Now,this is really laughable because all I had to do is crawl into bed naked - but I did it.  If I had put on pjs or a tank top I would not get to make this claim.  But I made the choice and it was a good one.  I had to work a little late so by the time I got to bed my husband was already asleep.  This always amazes me - how do you go from sleep to ready like that?  It must be a man thing.

Anyway - I crawled into bed, stayed over on my side and his man radar kicked in and he was ready, willing and able within 30 seconds.

And even with my waking him up there was a good deal of snuggle time before we went to sleep.  Unfortunately I am exhausted this morning - but I'll take it.

7 (1)


  1. Where were the dozen exclamations points after that first sentence. !!!!!!!!!!!! There, you deserve them. I'm a guy and don't even know the two of you and am very excited for you. I'm even proud of you. And you are right. You have every right to claim initiation. You made a conscious choice to do something different for you, perhaps even daring if you have body image issues. Had you done the usual, you probably would have experienced the behavior the two of you have become habituated to. He would have intiated or gone back to speep.

    It was such a simple act too. Get naked crawl into bed. The lights weren't on so he had no visual cues, nobody spoke, you didn't touch him or snuggle up to him. But what you did was all it took. And yes, you are right. IT IS A MAN THING. We are neither perverts, deviants or sex fiends. It is just how the creator made us.

    I think this is part of the reason we muster the ability to initiate. We are committed. I use that description because it is so accurate. Because of the difference in the way we experience arousal and desire, while you are still warming up to the idea we are chemically, emotionally and physically committed to pursuing sex. A demanding erection can build the necessary courage to initiate even in the face of possible rejection. I hope such language is not too direct here. I use it because it is very accurate. We otherwise fear rejection just like you do.

    As I said in a previous post, if you initiated you would likely have a willing and eager participant, even from a dead sleep. You didn't even touch him and succeeded. And what did you do for him? I would submit he felt desired, needed, pursued and competent sexually. Even more, it reassured him he is needed by you for more than just a protector and provider with benefits.

    I hope a lot of wives read this specific post and this blog. It is not all that complicated to initiate and there is way to much angst taken on by women over this issue. You've heard the term "easy" applied to women. Not so. It's we that are "easy." Just reach over and give it a squeeze and massage and tell me if I'm wrong. Even if he is busy driving the car, you'll get a positive physical response. We're so easy.

    1. Much later into this I have the ability to initiate much easier now. I have even come right out on the rare occasion and told him to come to bed and have sex with me. I think that I still wait to have him initiate because it makes me feel desired. Writing that makes me feel guilty as it is unfair to deny him that feeling of being desired when I want him and don't initiate. Well now that I have had that revelation I promise to act and let him feel desired too.