So I think I have seen 3 big changes this week.
Change One >> now that I have mentioned to my husband that I am frustrated by the lack of intimacy and sex so far this year he has stepped up to the challenge and we have connected every night since. What is great is it doesn't really feel like him initiating and me allowing it. This is mutual, we both know it is coming and it feels natural. Plus the added bonus of anticipating.
Change Two >> we don't just roll over and go to sleep. We ease into sleep. Lots of touching and intimacy.
Change Three >> clothes are staying off and when we are ready for sleep we are sharing our bed in a different way. When we were dating we both had twin beds and we would sleep all wrapped up with each other. We got married and went to a queen. For 16 years now we have been in a king - which means that we each have our own space. For the past few nights - at least for the initial falling asleep we have been right there in a twin size portion of the bed. By morning we have found our way to opposite sides of the bed - which is fine with me, but I really like the spooning as I fall asleep.
So I am happy with these changes - and interested to see how long our 'streak' goes on. I can't see this sex as being every night - although I do see the spooning as something we hopefully continue even on nights where there is no sex.
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The spooning is the non-sexual touch that women so desire; itimacy without sex. I think it helps women to feel cherished, not just sexually desired. It creats a release of oxytocin which creates bonding to your husband and a feeling of connection for him.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it interesting how something as simple as the size of the bed can make significant changes in a ways so subtle that you are unaware of them happening? At some point you just realize things have changed and begin searching for a more complex reason for the growing lack of intimacy than the size of the new bed. Now that is a case in which it would be easy to over-analyze the problem.
Dating was more fun and intimate when there was a bench seat with no console separating you and your girl. How much cozier was the drive-in movie with a bench seat and your arm around the shoulders of your girl? A subtle change with a big difference. I hope the spooning continued too.