Thursday, February 26, 2015

Out of Sync or in a Lull

Hello folks.

It has been a snowy cold few weeks here.  I did manage to sneak away for a fantastic ski trip to Killington with my youngest sons.  My sister rented a house and invited us up - I was just going to make a 3 day trip with my youngest son, but with snow in the forecast for the week I took my older son figuring he would be out of school anyway.

We ended up being able to stay 5 days because snow at home had the schools closed the boys didn't miss a thing.  We stopped in PA on the way home to visit my daughter at college - ended up snowed in at my sisters house.

It was a great vacation - with some great sex when I got home after being gone for a week we were overdue!

But to be quite honest since being home and having that pretty amazing night of sex followed by a morning session we have been pretty out of sync.  It is times like this when I start to wonder if in our late 40s after being together for more than 27 years if we are slowing down - or if this is just a natural lull that will pick back up.  I of course am hoping it is a lull - I'm too young to be slowing down, hopefully I will always be too young to be slowing down.

This is one of the busiest times for us - boys are wrestling and playing basketball - there is practice every day.  

My daughter's season has started and so we are traveling to those games.  The days are short and cold. I think we are just exhausted and my husband is clued into the fact that sometimes I need sleep.  Unfortunately the nights I need sleep don't seem to be the same nights he needs sleep.

I honestly can't remember ever being refused by my husband so I know he is always ready when I am wanting to break out of the lull.

And to make me feel better about where I am in life and in my relationship all I need to do is look at what is going on around me.  My oldest son has a friend that is ending a 5 year relationship - they are 19 and 21 and they have had sex 2 times in 6 months.  The only time we had a track record like that is when my husband was serving on an air craft carrier in the Persian Gulf.

I am having a healthy glass of wine - it is only 10:15 and we are both still awake!  I predict some action tonight.  In fact there is the possibility of a two hour delay for school tomorrow which could mean some action in the morning as well.

So how about some totally of the subject feedback.  My daughter's first game is on Saturday - it is 4 hours and 8 minutes away according to Google and it will mean I miss my son's basketball game (I haven't missed one yet this season).  Do I go for it and head up to my daughter's game?  I am going to her game on Tuesday (that one is only 2 hours away)?

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day

Two post in one month - pretty good.

We don't really celebrate Valentine's Day.  Funny that we decorate a little bit - wonder if we will continue to do that when the kids are older?  We don't go out or do presents.  My husband did pick up some flowers and Hershey Kisses yesterday but that is not out of the norm.  Today was a normal Saturday for us, we cleaned and went to watch the little boys play basketball.  After the game it was home for dinner and a movie.

So since my last post I have been paying attention to my behaviors and have been emotionally and physically available to my husband.  I'm glad that at this point just paying attention and being aware of the barriers I put up is all that I need to do to get back to where I want to be.

One thing I am noticing is that I am quick to communicate when I am not happy about something and not as quick with compliments.  So my goal for this month is to complain less and compliment more. I'm afraid this won't be as easy to accomplish - but maybe I will surprise myself.

I'll check back next week to report on my progress!

Monday, February 2, 2015

Anybody There?

So I've been away so long I forgot how to log in - took some doing but after a few attempts I lucked into the password.

I'm still here.  I really fell off the blog universe for a long time.  Still living the 'yes' life about 85%, looking to get back to 100%.

I'm not sure how much I will post but I do miss it - so we will see what happens.

Lets see - I'm older now 45.  I'm fatter now, ugh metabolism changes have hit me pretty hard.  Working on getting my fit back!

My oldest son recently got married, he and his new wife and their 90 pound dog are currently living with us.  My husband and I are fine with this - they are both recent college graduates, have continuing studies going on and are saving for a house.

My daughter is in college and loving it.  She is an athlete, in the honors program, an RA and working in the admissions office.  Her season starts at the end of the month and I am so looking forward to driving all over the east coast to watch her play.

My two little guys are growing into fine young men.  I forgot how fun puberty can be but this second 'litter' of kids is reminding me.

So how do I get back to 100%.  First step - look at the factors keep me at 85%.  I know what they are and I know that I often do them on purpose.

  1. Staying up later than my husband - this is a big one for me. This is the number one roadblock.
  2. Not initiating when I want sex.  I have to do more than be there and apparently I really suck at sending out the proper signals.  This is the number two roadblock.
  3. Letting little things annoy me and then withholding sex.  Argh - old habits, but this doesn't happen often at all. Again this is my old standby of turning my back to my husband in bed and making myself unavailable.  This has only happened once or twice - but is really a very juvenile way to handle being annoyed with my husband.  

So anyone want to place bets on whether I am really back????