Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day got off to a great start today.  My 7 year old made sure to get up early so he could give candy and lottery scratch tickets to his older brother and sister as they were getting off to school.  We got him tucked back in bed and managed a little adult Valentine's Day celebration of our own.

Seems like a good day to see how we are doing.  We are on day 35 of 2012, and we have 'connected' 21 times or 60% of the time.  This number is going to go up as January did not get off to a great start.   More than just the number I definitely see the good and the bad that goes along.

Good >> I am sleeping better, I really enjoy anticipating our alone time and even more than that I love that my husband is also anticipating it, there is more touching, I am getting more comfortable with taking the lead and that leads to less frustration.

Bad >> I am tired.  Last night we both fell asleep watching a movie.  We turned the movie off at 10:40.  We rolled over to actually go to sleep at 11:40.  While that is awesome, I am really tired this morning - but at the same time I am smiling about it - which leads to thinking about tonight - so even the bad is good!

Hope you have a great day!



  1. Thanks for the blog. It gives some hope to the husband of a wife who has pretty much never initiated and seems quite content (from the very beginning of our marriage) with sex once every few weeks or so.

    It's hard to keep trying when you get turned down and feel like as ass when your wife worked until 11pm and she tells your she's tired...

    Your husband is a lucky man.

    1. I appreciate the comments and encouragement. I started this because I really thought I could do better. I learned very quickly that we both got lazy. Marriage isn't all about sex - but I honestly believe that intimacy - including sex - can really strengthen a marriage.

      It isn't like I outright refused my husband a lot - but I think I definitely had certain signals that let him know when I wasn't in the mood. I am thankful that I am making an effort now and not at some point where it might have been too late.

    2. Good points. But from a hubby's perspective, an environment where his advances are likely to be met with resistance is almost as good as a rejection. It sounds like you are making plenty of opportunities for him to initiate, and you're initiating more yourself, so that's all to the good. But if he seems reluctant sometimes, develop some rituals that can subtextually alert him to the "I need some sexual attention and I'm open to the possibility" vibe, and he'll start cluing in pretty quickly.

      And Athol's book. Read it yourself, if you like, but make sure HE reads it. It's a Game changer.