Friday, April 20, 2012

An interesting question

So last night as we settled in to bed my husband pulled me close and said "I'm really exhausted and I could go to sleep, do you want me to fuck you?"    Last night I didn't feel the true weight of that statement.  But as I pondered it this morning I think it was pretty important.

He was seriously letting me know that he needed sleep and at the same time letting me know that he would be happy to put sleep off if I was interested in other activities. He was definitely playful when he asked, and I politely declined his offer.  We snuggled up and fell asleep.

Here is what I realized this morning.  In the past if he was tired he just went to sleep, but this time he recognized that while he wanted sleep I may have had other ideas, so he asked permission to skip sex and head straight to sleep.  This marks the first time in our marriage that this has happened.  That means that we have both taken steps to recognize that our sex life is not driven just by one of our needs and desires but by both.  This approach leaves no room for feeling rejected and that is a great thing!

Am I reading too much - possibly - but I know our marriage pretty well and I am calling it another change for the positive.

I am pretty sure that I won't get the same question tonight and if I do I will make him perform his marital duties before he gets to drift off to sleep.

Have a great weekend.



  1. Sounds pretty good to me, I wouldn't discount it at all - nice that you guys have such a great thing going.

  2. Last night,I gave my wife a full body coconut oil rubdown shoulders to toes, not really a massage. I told her it was all about her, to take her time, to experience and enjoy the sensual touch of it. I told her to put no energy into becoming sexually aroused. What I was doing had nothing to do with sex. If at the end she decided she wanted an orgasm that was fine. If not, that was fine too. It was about pleasuring and satisfing her and not me. She was in bliss of at least 45 minutes. In the end she opted for the happy ending. She's a bad girl that way. That's one of the thing I love about her.