Thursday, March 8, 2012

Time for an Escape

Spring break is coming up and it might be a good time for a night away, with no kids!  Two years ago I left a hotel key and a map in my husbands car.  I think it might be time for a repeat of that - or something more creative this time.  Does that count as initiating???

I was also thinking of spicing things up a little this month.  I will initiate at least once a week.  I will initiate at least once at a totally unexpected time.  I will work some more oral into the picture.

The other day my husband made the comment that the ratio was 25:1 in his favor for giving oral.  I would tend to think it is actually much more lopsided than that.  I have never refused when asked but geez it must be so frustrating for him to have to ask.

There are specific reasons (excuses) why this is not part of our regular routine.  First, I actually think I am allergic to him.  I know that sounds bizarre and I am not sure if it is just me.  I have a ton of food allergies (corn, soy, pork, milk, peanuts, the list goes on and on).  I am able to still eat these things because I have a nifty symptom that lets me know that my allergies are kicking in.  My palate gets sore and it actually hurts to eat.  If I stop eating and wash out my mouth the pain usually goes away after about 10 minutes.  At times the pain is very intense.  Well same thing happens with my husband - it is very bizarre.  Second, I don't think I am very good at it.  Practice makes perfect - but then see point 1 - it is actually quite painful for me.

I am going to start adding this in - even if it is just for a short spurts and doesn't lead to oral happy ending.


  1. question, is the pain immediate or only if your husband finishes in your mouth? what if your husband didn't eat those things? would there be no pain?

  2. Pain is not every time and is probably related to whatever he eats. Even if he doesn't finish - there are traces that get in there. Might be good to look at this as a science experience. Keep a little log - and afterwards rate my pain and his diet for the day. I'm sure he would love being scientific - especially if it leads to more action for him. Sometimes I can't believe the things I put out here for the whole world to see...

  3. Sounds like you have a great plan, your blog is a great educator in how to keep a long term sexual relationship fun and exciting.

  4. Try this: make him a glass of pineapple juice at least once or twice a day. And consider employing a flavored condom as a sexy experiment -- it's not a perfect suggestion, but more BJs with them beats less BJs without them.

    And don't discount the allure of a properly given handjob. Plop him in a chair, take his pants off, grab a jar of some sweet-smelling lotion, and give him a workout -- it's amazingly therapeutic.

    As fort the night away idea, I heartily endorse it. Just don't repeat the same thing you did last time. Part of the fun is the surprise and the intrigue. Some suggestions:

    1) Leave him sealed or recorded instructions as if he was a secret agent and you were his handler. Meet him at a bar where his mission is to seduce you and gain your "secret". The "secret" can be anything you like.

    2) A good old-fashioned Nooner. Rent a cheap hotel room near his business and then surprise him at lunch. Make him late getting back. And then (since you have it all night) meet him there after work for round 2.

    3) Erotic Scavenger Hunt. Takes a little preparation, but you can lead him all around town for various things ("Step 1: Stop in at O'Malleys for a pint. It's been paid for already. Step 2: Go to Glenn's Gentleman's Fashions and pick up your suit. It's been handled. Step 3. Go to the ice cream shop on the corner of Fifth and Main. Order a small vanilla cone, sit in the rear booth, and your next clue will be behind the napkin holder.") Mrs. Ironwood did this for my 33rd birthday, and ended at a posh hotel room. Best. Birthday. Ever. Seriously, I had the little paper hat she made me wear all night framed.

    Just a few suggestions. But keeping his erotic imagination primed is just as important as keeping his . . . other stuff primed.

    Good luck, and keep up the good work. And yes, you can never have too much practice.


  5. Ian...

    Great suggestions. I will have to keep some of those in mind for the Mrs.