Tuesday, January 1, 2013

So how did it go?

It has been a year of 'Yes' in my house.  A year where I never rejected my husband because I was tired, or cranky, or annoyed with him, or just not feeling it.  So a brief recap against my originally hypotheses:
>> We will be more affectionate in our daily lives

Yes.  We have always been affectionate - although not in the normal ways.  We have never been the type to end a call with "I love you" or leave for work with a kiss.  Our affection is usually shown by holding hands, sitting together and having some physical contact.  A hug or squeeze as we cook dinner or go about our lives.  I do think that we are more affectionate and I think where I see this the most is actually in bed - but not during sex.  We snuggle up more as we settle in for the night, after sex and just while we sleep.  While we have always held hands out and about - he now reaches for my hand pretty immediately as we get out of the car these days.

>> My husband will be in a much better mood all the time

This is a little harder to gauge because I don't think I looked for this one specifically.  I can say that the moodiness that was apparent during dry spells in previous years did not rear its head this year.  So I guess I can say that I noticed the lack of bad mood more than I noticed him being generally in a better mood.  I think this is like appreciating your good health only when you are sick.

>> We will sleep better

So this one is a yes but it comes with a big BUT.  So for me I am sleeping better - but I am sleeping less.  So there is a trade off here.  While my sleep is deeper and more satisfying, there is less of it so in general I didn't make any big improvements.

>> We will lose weight.

I lost 10 pounds over the year.  I did make slight modifications to the way I eat so this can't all be attributed to the change in my sex life.  I do think that my increased awareness of my sex drive has helped me stay on track for my fitness and weight goals.  10 pounds probably doesn't seem like much, and I still have 10 to go to be where I think I should be, but it is significant because my metabolism shit the bed a few years ago and I gained about 20 pounds.  Those pounds have been very hard to shed even with extensive exercise.

>> We will be healthier

Nope, my husbands joints are falling apart and my breathing issues are worse than ever.

>> We will have more energy

I will say we have more sexual energy, not sure that has filtered into any other aspects of our lives.

Additional info:

>> I am so much more aware of my sex drive.  It was always there but I think I choose to ignore it.  Now that I am paying attention it is so easy to always say YES and mean it.
>> Sex is better.  We still have boring married sex, but more often we have really great sex.

I could go on and on here - but I won't.  I am going to create a blogger id for my husband and hand over the computer.  Hopefully he will tell us:

>> Did you notice anything different this year?  How long did it take for you to notice this change?
>> What is your overall reaction to the blog - are you embarrassed, mad, annoyed, ambivalent, turned on?
>> Any ideas for a resolution for 2013?


  1. Oh my Lordy! As if it's been an whole year already! Congratulations, Mrs Yes, you did it! So glad to hear how your hypotheses worked out, and wishing you only good things in 2013! Cheers! :)

  2. "We will be more affectionate in our daily lives"

    Good to hear. Contrary to some popular myths, affection outside of sex, eg, 'cuddling', is important to men, too. I'm single again and the biggest thing I miss isn't the sex, but being close in bed after. Going back to my own empty bed feels like a big part of my life is missing.

  3. Congratulations Mrs. Yes! Hope the reveal goes well.

  4. Hope the reveal goes well. Mr. Yes is a very luck man. :)

  5. One of my neighbours has dinner parties and their house calendar can be seen in the kitchen very easily. Every day with a red X is a day they did what married couples should be doing. I am single, so I dont have a problem with it, but the nasty looks from other wives and the shame seen on the husbands' faces is a wonderment. It is one thing to be in a crappy marriage, it is another thing to be in a sexless marriage.

  6. well done =)

    how does the outlook appear, now, since this experiment?

    What is to come?

  7. Mrs. Yes, I actually a little embarrassed at times but because of the intimate look into your marriage, not anything you said specifically. I felt more of a voyeur here at times just skimming through a few posts than I do looking at hardcore porn (not sure I should admit to that but whatever).

    This is a beautiful thing you did for your marriage and your husband. I hope he's happy after the reveal. He should be.

  8. I'm so happy for the both of you!!