Just last week I was telling you that I didn't like lazy sex, and now I have figured out that sometimes lazy sex is perfect. Last night ended another very busy weekend. It was pretty late when we hit the bed, we talked about the weekend and joked around a bit. I was comfortable and happy and lazy sex was perfect.
We were both tired and originally the intention was just to sleep. I think the conversation led to wanting to be a little closer and with minimal effort we were able to do that. Just perfect!
Still learning every day.
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Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
About last night...
So it was a pretty busy day yesterday and we didn't crawl into bed until after midnight - which for us is fairly late on a night we stayed in. Lights out and my husband was rubbing my back which felt really nice - but was putting me right to sleep. As I drifted in and out I warned him. I said "That feels really great and I love it - but it is putting me to sleep and I am pretty sure that isn't the ending you are looking for." Guess what, he didn't stop. He told me not to worry about it and to relax - which I did.
Now I would like to believe that this is because he absolutely without a doubt knows that he can get whatever he wants whenever he wants. In the past if I gave the 'I'm falling asleep warning' he would immediately get down to business. So I am calling it another step in a great direction.
As he continued to rub my back I did let him know that if I fell asleep he was welcome to wake me up. I am pleased to report that he did wake me up, but I will say that last night he made sure it was all about me. I finally went to sleep feeling very lucky to be married to him.
Then his chickens started freaking out at about 6:15 this morning. We've lost 5 to foxes this month - and although they were safely in the chicken house - the fox must have been snooping around. So I wasn't feeling so lucky to be married to my crazy chicken keeping husband this morning. We did share a little laugh at listening to the 4 letter words being uttered by my lovely 17 year old daughter as she climbed out of bed went out back and calmed the chickens down. Felt like payback for the countless times we had been rudely awakened by her when she was a baby.
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Now I would like to believe that this is because he absolutely without a doubt knows that he can get whatever he wants whenever he wants. In the past if I gave the 'I'm falling asleep warning' he would immediately get down to business. So I am calling it another step in a great direction.
As he continued to rub my back I did let him know that if I fell asleep he was welcome to wake me up. I am pleased to report that he did wake me up, but I will say that last night he made sure it was all about me. I finally went to sleep feeling very lucky to be married to him.
Then his chickens started freaking out at about 6:15 this morning. We've lost 5 to foxes this month - and although they were safely in the chicken house - the fox must have been snooping around. So I wasn't feeling so lucky to be married to my crazy chicken keeping husband this morning. We did share a little laugh at listening to the 4 letter words being uttered by my lovely 17 year old daughter as she climbed out of bed went out back and calmed the chickens down. Felt like payback for the countless times we had been rudely awakened by her when she was a baby.
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Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Today I celebrate a special anniversary...
9 years ago today I had my final chemo treatment. At that point I was cancer free but due to the size of the tumors and the fact that my cancer was stage 3 I followed the chemo with 24 radiation treatments.
I was diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma in October 2002. At the time I was a 33 year old mother of 3, including an infant son. I actually found a small lump at the base of my neck in September 1999 but was advised by an oncologist that it was nothing to worry about. So instead of removing it - it grew and spread. My pregnancy probably saved my life, the more pregnant I got the bigger the lump on my neck got. All the hormones that are active during pregnancy can really kick start cancer that is lurking in the body.
So today I celebrate the fact that I am still cancer free and I ask that if you are putting off any cancer screenings or appointments with your doctor that you schedule it today. Not everyone can rock the bald look as well as I did.
For those that are in a battle with cancer - I pray that you are lucky like I was. Doctors told me they could cure me but I would never run a marathon. I have since done 2 full and 3 half marathons. Doctors told me I would never have another child. 1 year and 10 days after my last radiation treatment I welcomed a healthy son into the world. Always have hope.
I was diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma in October 2002. At the time I was a 33 year old mother of 3, including an infant son. I actually found a small lump at the base of my neck in September 1999 but was advised by an oncologist that it was nothing to worry about. So instead of removing it - it grew and spread. My pregnancy probably saved my life, the more pregnant I got the bigger the lump on my neck got. All the hormones that are active during pregnancy can really kick start cancer that is lurking in the body.
So today I celebrate the fact that I am still cancer free and I ask that if you are putting off any cancer screenings or appointments with your doctor that you schedule it today. Not everyone can rock the bald look as well as I did.
For those that are in a battle with cancer - I pray that you are lucky like I was. Doctors told me they could cure me but I would never run a marathon. I have since done 2 full and 3 half marathons. Doctors told me I would never have another child. 1 year and 10 days after my last radiation treatment I welcomed a healthy son into the world. Always have hope.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
A spike in the drive
Not sure why, and really who cares, my sex drive was a little higher yesterday. I think it is because with so much rain the past 3 days all of our activities were cancelled and we weren't running in 7 different directions. I had a productive day at work, my oldest took care of his sick little brother, all baseball and lacrosse was cancelled, my husband made and cleaned up dinner.
We went to bed together with no intention of going to sleep.
It is nice to have a few weather induced days off to get back to important indoor activities.
So about last night - I was not in the mood for lazy sex, and I spoke up. See there are certain positions that just feel lazy to me. They feel like "I am here and I want to have sex, but I really don't want to put any effort into it". These positions just don't do it for me for two reasons, the first I already stated, it doesn't seem to me that my husband is really into the act, this is probably 100% not true but it is what is going through my mind. Second, they just don't hit the right spots for me. So last night as we got into bed he was ready for lazy sex and I told him nope. I don't want that position it really doesn't do it for me. So I am scoring one for me on the speaking up - normally I would have just been disappointed about the choice of position.
For those of you out there shaking your heads at me because I am at 42 just speaking up realize that I am making efforts here - so stop shaking your head and don't judge me. I am not 'all' women, I am me. I am a woman who was raised very catholic, who lost her mother before puberty and who is finally finding her voice sexually. I have never been a prude, I just have always let my husband lead and have always been shy about my needs and desires. I do realize how lucky I am to have a husband that has always considered my needs and desires even if they aren't voiced.
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We went to bed together with no intention of going to sleep.
It is nice to have a few weather induced days off to get back to important indoor activities.
So about last night - I was not in the mood for lazy sex, and I spoke up. See there are certain positions that just feel lazy to me. They feel like "I am here and I want to have sex, but I really don't want to put any effort into it". These positions just don't do it for me for two reasons, the first I already stated, it doesn't seem to me that my husband is really into the act, this is probably 100% not true but it is what is going through my mind. Second, they just don't hit the right spots for me. So last night as we got into bed he was ready for lazy sex and I told him nope. I don't want that position it really doesn't do it for me. So I am scoring one for me on the speaking up - normally I would have just been disappointed about the choice of position.
For those of you out there shaking your heads at me because I am at 42 just speaking up realize that I am making efforts here - so stop shaking your head and don't judge me. I am not 'all' women, I am me. I am a woman who was raised very catholic, who lost her mother before puberty and who is finally finding her voice sexually. I have never been a prude, I just have always let my husband lead and have always been shy about my needs and desires. I do realize how lucky I am to have a husband that has always considered my needs and desires even if they aren't voiced.
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Monday, April 23, 2012
A blah month
So here it is the 23rd and my high drive is missing in action. Some other factor has screwed it up. That has me wondering what happens after 'the change'. I will need to do some research here, I am after all not that far away from needing to be ready for that.
Dreary day here - rain for the last 2 days. Start of a new week...time to get moving.
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Dreary day here - rain for the last 2 days. Start of a new week...time to get moving.
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Friday, April 20, 2012
An interesting question
So last night as we settled in to bed my husband pulled me close and said "I'm really exhausted and I could go to sleep, do you want me to fuck you?" Last night I didn't feel the true weight of that statement. But as I pondered it this morning I think it was pretty important.
He was seriously letting me know that he needed sleep and at the same time letting me know that he would be happy to put sleep off if I was interested in other activities. He was definitely playful when he asked, and I politely declined his offer. We snuggled up and fell asleep.
Here is what I realized this morning. In the past if he was tired he just went to sleep, but this time he recognized that while he wanted sleep I may have had other ideas, so he asked permission to skip sex and head straight to sleep. This marks the first time in our marriage that this has happened. That means that we have both taken steps to recognize that our sex life is not driven just by one of our needs and desires but by both. This approach leaves no room for feeling rejected and that is a great thing!
Am I reading too much - possibly - but I know our marriage pretty well and I am calling it another change for the positive.
I am pretty sure that I won't get the same question tonight and if I do I will make him perform his marital duties before he gets to drift off to sleep.
Have a great weekend.
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He was seriously letting me know that he needed sleep and at the same time letting me know that he would be happy to put sleep off if I was interested in other activities. He was definitely playful when he asked, and I politely declined his offer. We snuggled up and fell asleep.
Here is what I realized this morning. In the past if he was tired he just went to sleep, but this time he recognized that while he wanted sleep I may have had other ideas, so he asked permission to skip sex and head straight to sleep. This marks the first time in our marriage that this has happened. That means that we have both taken steps to recognize that our sex life is not driven just by one of our needs and desires but by both. This approach leaves no room for feeling rejected and that is a great thing!
Am I reading too much - possibly - but I know our marriage pretty well and I am calling it another change for the positive.
I am pretty sure that I won't get the same question tonight and if I do I will make him perform his marital duties before he gets to drift off to sleep.
Have a great weekend.
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Thursday, April 19, 2012
That wasn't fun
I absolutely love being a wife and mother. I take care of my kids to a fault - starting with made to order breakfast for all of them and making sure to take time to be involved with all their events. They know I am always there for them and that I spoil them and they know that I still expect them to be very responsible good students.
But the other day I didn't want anything to do with being a mom, I just wanted to crawl back into bed. I woke up at 6:30 up with a nasty stomach virus. I attempted to suck it up and get the boys off to school but eventually had to wave the white flag and have them call my brother and ask him to come over and get them off to school. He did and even brought me some ginger ale. I was able to crawl back into bed and stay there all day - I think I was asleep for about 18 hours.
I am so lucky that my brother lives less than 3 miles away.
That was 2 days ago and has thrown off the 'alone' time with my husband. Fortunately he is off work today - took time off for getting his garden started and then head off for an MRI of his shoulder - poor guy is falling apart. So he is asleep next to me now - and I think I am going to wake him up. We have about 30 minutes before my oldest will be home from his morning class!
Have a great day...hope you get some!
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But the other day I didn't want anything to do with being a mom, I just wanted to crawl back into bed. I woke up at 6:30 up with a nasty stomach virus. I attempted to suck it up and get the boys off to school but eventually had to wave the white flag and have them call my brother and ask him to come over and get them off to school. He did and even brought me some ginger ale. I was able to crawl back into bed and stay there all day - I think I was asleep for about 18 hours.
I am so lucky that my brother lives less than 3 miles away.
That was 2 days ago and has thrown off the 'alone' time with my husband. Fortunately he is off work today - took time off for getting his garden started and then head off for an MRI of his shoulder - poor guy is falling apart. So he is asleep next to me now - and I think I am going to wake him up. We have about 30 minutes before my oldest will be home from his morning class!
Have a great day...hope you get some!
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