I'd like to buy a vowel

So this is a bit awkward ... I've lost my "O" and I can't seem to find it.  I am not sure if it is some sort of change in my body or if it is psychological.  I can tell you it is quite frustrating.

I did share this frustration with my husband and he suggested I talk with a doctor - but yeah I'm not there yet.

As a woman it is bad when you have lost even your ability to find your own happy ending.  I am in that place now and have been for a few months.

I can find that happy place with the help of toys - but would be nice to get back to being able to find it without something that is battery operated.

Now - don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I don't enjoy sex with my husband.  I still find pleasure and still look forward to sex with my husband.  I just don't get the happy ending I used to.

Toys have been a novelty with us - not used often.  I may be entering a time when they need to become the norm and not the exception and I am not sure how I feel about that.  Here are a few issues:

• If you have been following my journey you know me as a woman who is still not exactly confident or comfortable with expressing my own needs.  Crazy that I can have this blog and be open and honest but then have trouble communicating that in real life.  So introducing toys on my own will be a struggle - in the past it has always been my husband that initiates the use of toys.
• In the past when I have tried to introduce toys -he had a reaction that really rubbed me the wrong way (no pun intended).  I wanted this to be something that I was bringing to the table willingly and it was like the prude came out in him.  On some level I think he may have been embarrassed that his wife was at a sex toy party and did that mean that he was not able to satisfy his wife, or it could just be that he is fine being kinky in the bedroom but really just wanted to keep that private.  For that second possibility I tried to engage him in shopping via catalog as a couple but he showed no interest in that either.
• My husband is very anti 50 Shades of Grey.  I read the series - haven't seen the movie, don't really see any point in seeing it if it isn't something I watch with my husband.  He has no issue with late night soft porn but totally scoffs at 50 Shades.  You would think a husband would take full advantage of his wife reading an erotic novel.

I do know that this is an issue I have to deal with so my plan is to grow a pair and pull out a toy and add it to the mix.  This is my sex life too - I have to take responsibility for my own pleasure.  I so crack myself up - already anticipating the internal dialogue that will go on probably tonight as I give myself a pre-sex pep talk.  Go Team!!

East Coast Tour

I had quite the busy week.  Traveled over 700 miles and went to 3 of my daughter's away games.  I saw her play in Pennsylvania, then in New York and finally in West Virginia.  Along the way I got to visit with my sister and her family, including my 1 year old great-nephew.

My sister and I paid a visit to the New Jersey State Archives in search of my grandfather's naturalization papers.  My uncle had been looking for these for years and found that my grandfather was in NJ when he was sworn in as a US Citizen.  Apparently he joined the US Army in Italy and became a citizen when he was in the US just before he shipped off to France.  He arrived in France the day before the war ended.  It was a cool find and so exciting,

My daughter and I got to spend the night with my Aunt and Uncle in NY before she had to be back at school for practice on Saturday.  She really enjoyed being spoiled by them.

I was away from home for 3 days and my husband was very happy to see me when I got home.  I was in some sort of odd mood when I got home - I just wasn't feeling it.  I knew that 'not feeling it' was not going to fly so I had a little internal dialogue and got past whatever it was that was messing with my mo-jo.  Happy to report that we had quite a romp that night, the next morning and the next night.

The morning after I got home I came to the realization that my odd mood was because my husband did not check in on me or seem at all worried about me on my trip home.  There was a pretty bad snow storm and it made traveling a bit tricky.  I asked my husband about it and he explained that he was under the impression that I was extending my trip due to the weather.  He said "you sent me a facebook message that said it was snowing and you were extending your trip until Sunday".  I was really confused until he showed it to me - it was a message that was more than a month old, it was from my trip to Vermont in February.  So two things I am taking from this.  Don't rely on facebook to communicate with my husband and try to be more aware of what little things are contributing to my mood and deal with them.  

I think I am blushing...

So I just went back and looked at earlier posts from October through December 2012.  So fun to read the posts and comments and remember how exciting this was for me.  Then I realized that some of the things I wrote about actually make me blush when I go back and read them.

In the years since I started this blog there are a few detectives that have found the real me - and there is my husband.  Nobody else knows who Mrs. Yes is and none of my close friends or family know about this blog.  I still pretty much have the ability to say whatever I want, to be BOLD and BRAVE.  But apparently I grew more bold as I blogged and got support from those in the blog world.  I don't feel as bold now, it will likely take some time to build that up again.

I do want to bring back that 'sassy tell it like it is' blogger.  But it isn't as easy as riding a bike - need to ease back into this.

This past weekend just flew by!  We were so busy that I missed national steak and blow job day (March 14th).  We will be rescheduling that holiday - possibly for March 16th.  I would have done it tonight but my husband is sick.  I know he is really sick because I made some of his favorite foods for dinner and he didn't eat anything!

I am headed out of town on Tuesday for a few days in NY to visit family and watch my daughter's team play a few games on the road.  I am so lucky to have a husband that understands my desire to drive all over and see her play.  I really hope he feels better soon because it stinks to have to run the household when you are sick.  I am also thankful that my son and daughter-in-law are living downstairs - I know that if my husband is sick they will step in and make sure that he can relax and recover while they look after the boys and the house.

Out of the Funk!!

We had two more snow days last week - but everything is melting and life is returning to normal.  We appear to be out of our sex slump and sunny days are ahead.  Seems that part of my funk may have been that my time of the month was sneaking up on me.  I don't track this in any way so I often miss the subtle signs until the not so subtle signs arrive.  Not that I want to take sole responsibility for the slump, but I do recognize my part in it.

So sex is back and so is the general touching and relating that had been missing outside of the bedroom as well.  When I look back at the latest funk or slump or whatever you want to call it I realize that it really takes no effort to break out.  Then my brain starts to really get into over analysis mode:

• Do I cause the funk
• Does he cause the funk
• Is it a mutual funk
• Is it just a natural low that is actually a good thing?

I get to the 'is this a good thing?' by pulling the good out of the situation (this is something that I came out of cancer with "finding the blessings even when life sucks")

• Breaking the funk always means great sex
• Being in the funk always makes me evaluate my roles and responsibilities in maintaining a healthy relationship and sex life
• I am secure enough in my relationship to recognize sometimes we just annoy the hell out of each other and that is okay. It doesn't have to be wonderful all the time.
• Even when it isn't wonderful it isn't terrible
• My sex life even in a funk is miles ahead of other couples that have been together for 27 plus years.

What do I really think it is:

• I think that sometimes we just get so busy with the other aspects of life that we don't take the time to put the energy in our relationship.  

Having said that I do realize how important it is to not let these slumps or funks go on for too long.  It is important to recognize when we are doing this and make sure that we do focus on us.  All the other aspects of our lives that require energy and attention will come and go, our relationship is a constant that we have to be careful not to neglect. 

In other news.  My 12 year old got his cast off and is back in action.  He took second in the regional recreational wrestling tournament over the weekend and was back on the mat for his middle school today and won his match by pin in the first period.   My daughter finally has her first lacrosse game tomorrow,  first four games were postponed due to snow.  It is supposed to rain all day but I am going to make the 3 hour trip to see them play and then take her out for a late birthday dinner.

Too late for spell check or any other proof reading so you will have to deal with my bad grammar and spelling!

Ugh

Okay - I would like a re-do on the last week or so.  Between the snow and ice and cancellations and my mood.  BLAH.

Trying to see the positives, I have a nice warm home, with my family, I have wine and food and the ability to work from home.

The negatives - I am cranky.

Everyone else in the house is either a student or an employee of the school system so they are off with nothing to do.  They are all stuck with me in my 'office'.

There were two nights in a row that I made dinner and brought it down into the bar area so we could watch a movie together.  We ate on paper plates so mess was minimal.  My husband carried the serving dishes up when the movie was over and put them in the kitchen.  He didn't clean them up - he just left them on the counter.  It was early when he went up, 8 one night and 9 the next, both nights he just left them there for me and went to bed.  He didn't bother to wash them or throw them in the dishwasher.  The first night I was annoyed, the second night I was bitter.  I did let him know how annoyed I was and message was received, he helped clean up dinner the third night.

Sex has been non-existent, and that probably leads to the crankiness for both of us.  He has been in bed snoring way early and then last night his sleep schedule must have been all screwed up because I went to bed at 11:30 and fell asleep before he came in.  He slept in this morning - no school due to weather but I had to get out of bed for early meetings.

I'm honestly not feeling it tonight - I am just feeling bitchy - but I will make an effort a real effort. Even as I write this I am doubting my ability to go all in.  We need to break out of the funk so I need to get it done.

Out of Sync or in a Lull

Hello folks.

It has been a snowy cold few weeks here.  I did manage to sneak away for a fantastic ski trip to Killington with my youngest sons.  My sister rented a house and invited us up - I was just going to make a 3 day trip with my youngest son, but with snow in the forecast for the week I took my older son figuring he would be out of school anyway.

We ended up being able to stay 5 days because snow at home had the schools closed the boys didn't miss a thing.  We stopped in PA on the way home to visit my daughter at college - ended up snowed in at my sisters house.

It was a great vacation - with some great sex when I got home after being gone for a week we were overdue!

But to be quite honest since being home and having that pretty amazing night of sex followed by a morning session we have been pretty out of sync.  It is times like this when I start to wonder if in our late 40s after being together for more than 27 years if we are slowing down - or if this is just a natural lull that will pick back up.  I of course am hoping it is a lull - I'm too young to be slowing down, hopefully I will always be too young to be slowing down.

This is one of the busiest times for us - boys are wrestling and playing basketball - there is practice every day.  

My daughter's season has started and so we are traveling to those games.  The days are short and cold. I think we are just exhausted and my husband is clued into the fact that sometimes I need sleep.  Unfortunately the nights I need sleep don't seem to be the same nights he needs sleep.

I honestly can't remember ever being refused by my husband so I know he is always ready when I am wanting to break out of the lull.

And to make me feel better about where I am in life and in my relationship all I need to do is look at what is going on around me.  My oldest son has a friend that is ending a 5 year relationship - they are 19 and 21 and they have had sex 2 times in 6 months.  The only time we had a track record like that is when my husband was serving on an air craft carrier in the Persian Gulf.

I am having a healthy glass of wine - it is only 10:15 and we are both still awake!  I predict some action tonight.  In fact there is the possibility of a two hour delay for school tomorrow which could mean some action in the morning as well.

So how about some totally of the subject feedback.  My daughter's first game is on Saturday - it is 4 hours and 8 minutes away according to Google and it will mean I miss my son's basketball game (I haven't missed one yet this season).  Do I go for it and head up to my daughter's game?  I am going to her game on Tuesday (that one is only 2 hours away)?

Happy Valentine's Day

Two post in one month - pretty good.

We don't really celebrate Valentine's Day.  Funny that we decorate a little bit - wonder if we will continue to do that when the kids are older?  We don't go out or do presents.  My husband did pick up some flowers and Hershey Kisses yesterday but that is not out of the norm.  Today was a normal Saturday for us, we cleaned and went to watch the little boys play basketball.  After the game it was home for dinner and a movie.

So since my last post I have been paying attention to my behaviors and have been emotionally and physically available to my husband.  I'm glad that at this point just paying attention and being aware of the barriers I put up is all that I need to do to get back to where I want to be.

One thing I am noticing is that I am quick to communicate when I am not happy about something and not as quick with compliments.  So my goal for this month is to complain less and compliment more. I'm afraid this won't be as easy to accomplish - but maybe I will surprise myself.

I'll check back next week to report on my progress!

Anybody There?

So I've been away so long I forgot how to log in - took some doing but after a few attempts I lucked into the password.

I'm still here.  I really fell off the blog universe for a long time.  Still living the 'yes' life about 85%, looking to get back to 100%.

I'm not sure how much I will post but I do miss it - so we will see what happens.

Lets see - I'm older now 45.  I'm fatter now, ugh metabolism changes have hit me pretty hard.  Working on getting my fit back!

My oldest son recently got married, he and his new wife and their 90 pound dog are currently living with us.  My husband and I are fine with this - they are both recent college graduates, have continuing studies going on and are saving for a house.

My daughter is in college and loving it.  She is an athlete, in the honors program, an RA and working in the admissions office.  Her season starts at the end of the month and I am so looking forward to driving all over the east coast to watch her play.

My two little guys are growing into fine young men.  I forgot how fun puberty can be but this second 'litter' of kids is reminding me.

So how do I get back to 100%.  First step - look at the factors keep me at 85%.  I know what they are and I know that I often do them on purpose.

1. Staying up later than my husband - this is a big one for me. This is the number one roadblock.
2. Not initiating when I want sex.  I have to do more than be there and apparently I really suck at sending out the proper signals.  This is the number two roadblock.
3. Letting little things annoy me and then withholding sex.  Argh - old habits, but this doesn't happen often at all. Again this is my old standby of turning my back to my husband in bed and making myself unavailable.  This has only happened once or twice - but is really a very juvenile way to handle being annoyed with my husband.  

So anyone want to place bets on whether I am really back????

Hi there

So I fell off the face of the blog earth for a while.  I just didn't have the pull that I had when this was my little secret blog.

I did miss the updates, the updates from others and the interaction - but the longer I was away the odder it felt to come back.

Life is good - work is kicking my ass.  Just celebrated 10 years since last chemo and still healthy.  Still love my husband - still saying yes!

Kids are good.  Son is going to graduate college in 3 years - with a 3.9.  Daughter is finishing up her senior year in style and having a great lacrosse season.  Little boys keep me moving and continue to grow so I won't be able to call them the little boys much longer.

I'm glad you all were still checking on me.  I will try to post once a week and I promise that post from my husband with his reaction - even if I have to bribe him with sexual favors!

I know you are waiting

I know you are waiting for the reaction from Mr. Yes.  I promise this week.  Hopefully he will have time tonight and tomorrow night for some more reading and reflection.

Random snipits of what is going on :

Last week was another busy one for us.  The oldest headed off to college out of state.  His first class starts in 30 minutes - very exciting and very sad all the same.  He is 19 and is really living like an adult for the first time which is so cool.  But at the same time he will never be part of the family in the same way again.  I am excited for what his future holds and for getting to know the adult in him.  Our daughter was in the school's one act play performance Friday and Saturday - we are still struggling to get all the stage make up off.  She was a pink pig and there is still a distinct pink to her cheeks. 

Guess what I did - I finished a bj with a happy ending!  I know pretty cool.  Things have been pretty adventurous in the bedroom so I had the benefit of him being thoroughly warmed up before I started and that may be the key.  So moving forward as I work on this the key seems to be not to start specifically with that.

Just to make this post totally all over the place I will share that my two football teams did not do well this week.  Notre Dame is my college team - I didn't attend but my parents met and married there and I was raised on ND football.  The Bronco's are my team by marriage and they totally blew it against Baltimore.  Thank goodness hockey is back.  I just got the schedule yesterday and can't wait to see my Capitals take the ice!!!

On another side note - my Christmas decorations are still out.  With the unexpected hospitals stays, support calls for work, kids headed out to college, basketball, wrestling, my daughters play and football there just hasn't been in any time.  I am capped on vacation at work - I have 4 weeks on the books and won't earn any more until I use some so I think I will take Thursday, Friday and Monday off to get everything put away.

And finally - I haven't had to use my inhaler in 5 days.  So today I will start exercising.  I am less than 4 months from my next half marathon and about 10 pounds from my target weight.  I think I will do a mix of P90X and running with a little dance thrown in there.  

Just had a good idea!

So I thought this might be fun.  Let's interview Mr. Yes.  I can come up with questions - but if there are some you guys want to contribute I think that would be a lot of fun.

I imagine it would be hard to respond to a year's worth of posts especially on a private subject.

Direct questions might be easier.

So bring it - can be related to a specific post, or comment, or anything else (sports, chickens - whatever you want).  He will answer what he wants to and ignore those that he isn't comfortable with.

You can leave a comment here with your question or you can send it to email if you want.

My email is dontsayno2012@gmail.com.

So tell us what you absolutely need to know!

2013 off to an interesting start.

A quick update on the reading of the blog and reaction from my husband.   He has been back to the blog - which surprised me because I didn't think he would be able to find it.  Apparently he googled 'Mrs. Yes' and was able to find the blog from my profile.  So I was happy that he had made that effort on his own.   He absolutely can't believe that I have 'followers' or that there are so many hits.  He is astounded that people actually are interested in this and follow along.  No negative reactions at all!

There is a very subtle shift in the relationship and daily interaction.  I feel like for me now that he is reading my thoughts of the last year it is easier and more comfortable to initiate.  At the same time I can feel a difference in the way that he is initiating.  Will wait a while longer to explore that as a blog entry.

This process of the reveal and reactions is slower than I thought due to the other things going on in life.

Our oldest had a scheduled surgery on Friday, a tonsillectomy.  We were prepared for that, what we weren't prepared for was his girlfriend to be admitted to the hospital.  Her mom is out of town and she was too sick to be left alone.  We were in urgent care and ER all day on Thursday.  Then right after outpatient surgery on Friday, we were back again - this time she was admitted and stayed until Sunday afternoon.  My son stayed with her, and I ran back and forth as he couldn't drive on his pain medication.

Today they are both resting comfortably and I am trying to get them healthy enough to head off to college out of state for classes that start next Monday!

So he is reading

Well - my reveal was a bit later than expected.  I had to support a client as they had issues with their year end processing and I was on a call with them from 3:30 until 10:30 yesterday.

So he only had time to read January and part of February.  So far no negative reaction but no comments either.

Tonight he hasn't had a chance to read any because I am working on my computer and he and the 19 year old are doing two separate fantasy drafts on the other laptop.  He can't read between picks because this is not something I am ready to share with my son.

So it may be the weekend before he gets a chance to do some more reading.

So how did it go?

It has been a year of 'Yes' in my house.  A year where I never rejected my husband because I was tired, or cranky, or annoyed with him, or just not feeling it.  So a brief recap against my originally hypotheses:
:
>> We will be more affectionate in our daily lives

Yes.  We have always been affectionate - although not in the normal ways.  We have never been the type to end a call with "I love you" or leave for work with a kiss.  Our affection is usually shown by holding hands, sitting together and having some physical contact.  A hug or squeeze as we cook dinner or go about our lives.  I do think that we are more affectionate and I think where I see this the most is actually in bed - but not during sex.  We snuggle up more as we settle in for the night, after sex and just while we sleep.  While we have always held hands out and about - he now reaches for my hand pretty immediately as we get out of the car these days.

>> My husband will be in a much better mood all the time

This is a little harder to gauge because I don't think I looked for this one specifically.  I can say that the moodiness that was apparent during dry spells in previous years did not rear its head this year.  So I guess I can say that I noticed the lack of bad mood more than I noticed him being generally in a better mood.  I think this is like appreciating your good health only when you are sick.

>> We will sleep better

So this one is a yes but it comes with a big BUT.  So for me I am sleeping better - but I am sleeping less.  So there is a trade off here.  While my sleep is deeper and more satisfying, there is less of it so in general I didn't make any big improvements.

>> We will lose weight.

I lost 10 pounds over the year.  I did make slight modifications to the way I eat so this can't all be attributed to the change in my sex life.  I do think that my increased awareness of my sex drive has helped me stay on track for my fitness and weight goals.  10 pounds probably doesn't seem like much, and I still have 10 to go to be where I think I should be, but it is significant because my metabolism shit the bed a few years ago and I gained about 20 pounds.  Those pounds have been very hard to shed even with extensive exercise.

>> We will be healthier

Nope, my husbands joints are falling apart and my breathing issues are worse than ever.

>> We will have more energy

I will say we have more sexual energy, not sure that has filtered into any other aspects of our lives.


Additional info:

>> I am so much more aware of my sex drive.  It was always there but I think I choose to ignore it.  Now that I am paying attention it is so easy to always say YES and mean it.
>> Sex is better.  We still have boring married sex, but more often we have really great sex.


I could go on and on here - but I won't.  I am going to create a blogger id for my husband and hand over the computer.  Hopefully he will tell us:

>> Did you notice anything different this year?  How long did it take for you to notice this change?
>> What is your overall reaction to the blog - are you embarrassed, mad, annoyed, ambivalent, turned on?
>> Any ideas for a resolution for 2013?

You aren't going to believe this

Last night at 1:30 am - so technically this was December 31, 2012,  I woke up with a pounding sinus headache.  It was behind my left eye and it was the type of pressure that seems to shift when you move your head.  At 1:45 my husband rolled over and started to make some moves on me.  I had to do it - I had to respectfully decline his advances.  I just told him that I had some terrible sinus pressure and asked if he could hold off for a few hours.  He was fine with that.

I didn't feel any guilt, didn't feel like I rejected him, but saw the irony of having to break my resolution on the last day.  I think I would have cried if I tried to suck it up and go for it.

In any case I am cashing in my one get out of jail free card and calling this resolution a massive success.

Tomorrow I will hand the computer over to my husband - direct him to the blog and let him at it!  I think I may even create a user id for him so that he can comment if he wants - and I do hope he wants to.  I am curious to see his take on the past year, whether he noticed any changes, does he feel the need to defend himself when I have called him out for things out here where he had no way to stand up for himself, does he have any other feedback that I missed.

Before I do all of that I will do a 'wrap up' post on the good the bad and the ugly of the year 2012!

Hope you have a safe and happy New Year's Eve celebration!

161

A good day - and it isn't even noon yet

Yesterday was a pretty hectic day.  It was the last day of school before the winter break and both of my little guys had parties in their classrooms.  I spent the day in the 3rd grade with my youngest doing crafts and plays and having a potluck lunch.  After school we went ice skating at the outdoor rink - it was 49 but was windy and freezing.  We toughed it out for 2 hours and aside from the chapped lips it was really fun.

When we got home my husband and I headed off for a goodbye dinner for some friends that are moving out of town.   We got home around 9:30 and I went straight to bed.  Unfortunately I didn't have the most restful of nights as one of my clients decided to deploy some new software into production prior to running their nightly payroll.  This isn't my software but they called me at 1:00 am to try to figure out what they did wrong.

Disaster was averted and payroll was back on schedule by 1:30, but then at 4:00 my 8 year old had a nightmare and crawled into bed with us.  At 7:45 my oldest left for class and I woke up with the sinus headache from hell.  I took some medicine and crawled into my 8 year old's bed so I could get some more sleep.

Here is where the day starts to get good.  I slept until 10:15.  And got up to my entire family (minus my oldest who was still at class) cleaning.  Yes cleaning.  The bathrooms are clean, the foyer is clean, the bar and exercise rooms are clean.  The carpets upstairs are done.  The beds are made.  What would have taken me hours to do was done in less than an hour with no bitching or nagging from me.

Everyone else is headed out to see the Hobbit this afternoon.  I am headed out on my annual shopping and wrapping girls night out.  This is a sleepover event.  We shop and happy hour.  Then we wrap, wrap and wrap.  Normally we rent a hotel room and sit in the lobby of the hotel by the fire in our pajamas and laugh and wrap and drink until about 4 am.  Slight change of plans this year as one of our friends has a brand new house that she is living in alone - we are headed there to take over her living room.  She is not fully moved in yet so no furniture just a few women a few beers/bottle of wine, and a lot of tape and wrapping paper.

Life is good and I am taking a minute or two to appreciate all the blessings that I have.

Procrastination

I usually have some idea what I am going to write about when I sit down.  Today I am just procrastinating, I should be working and just can't get into it.  So I will write about whatever comes to mind.

First, I am sick, which sucks.  It came on pretty quickly yesterday afternoon, sore throat and coughing that hurts my lungs.  Hopefully it leaves as quickly as it arrived.  I have a fun weekend planned and want to be able to enjoy it.

Second, shootings in schools.  I have done my best to stay away from the coverage, not because I am not heartbroken for the victims - those that died and those that survived and their relatives, but because I know that all the media coverage leads to some other unstable person planning something that will make them famous.  Publishing and glorifying this individual leads to others that would probably still hurt themselves or someone else to plan an attack like this one to be remembered for their terrible actions.

Third, sex has not been great this week. Lots of late nights for me including getting several middle of the night calls.  So I am tired.  My husband has a cold that makes him all snotty and which makes him slightly less desirable to me.  I want to take care of him but not in that way.  I didn't deny him, and he didn't ask.  We also had one night where neither of us was in the mood because we had a little disagreement earlier in the day.

We did have sex this morning - I really didn't want to, I was so tired.  I took night time cough medicine last night and snuggled up on my husbands chest and he rubbed my back while I fell asleep.  I know he wanted sex, but I fell asleep.  So this morning we had sex, but I admit to being half asleep and not making much effort.  I have to wonder if that is why my husband wasn't able to finish.  If I had made more effort and been more of a willing partner would he have had his happy ending.  Anyway, it was a no go for him so he got into the shower, I went back to sleep.  After his shower he wanted to try one more time, so we tried again, slightly more effort on my part this time, still I wasn't totally into it.  Still no happy ending.  So my husband thanked me for my services, and I am serious here he did say thank you, and he went to work.

As I sit here now I wonder, what part did my not saying no but not really saying yes have to do with this?  I'm not a guy but I still think he was happier going off to work having tried than not.  And I have to come to grips that I won't always be able to say 'YES!'.

Okay - 20 minutes until my first meeting of the day - time to get back to real life.

154

I may have created a monster

It took him almost the entire year but something clicked last week and I think my husband is finally really in tune to the fact that I am not saying no.  There has been a ridiculous amount of action.

Thursday there was morning sex and bedtime sex.  Friday there was bedtime sex.  Friday into Saturday there was middle of the night sex, morning sex and bedtime sex.  Sunday there was bedtime sex.  Monday there was morning, noon and night sex.  Tuesday there was morning sex.

Morning sex is almost a given now - we missed out on that this morning because I had a client call at 3:45 am to get help with a payroll issue.  I was back in bed by 4:30 but my husband didn't try to wake me up.

He has the day off tomorrow so I am thinking there will be some daytime activity on the schedule for tomorrow.  In fact I should probably go create a 'meeting' in my calendar for that right now.

150

Because you said yes...

We have a pet rabbit that free ranges in the yard and lives in his pen at night.  This rabbit decided a few weeks ago that he was not going to ever let us shut the door to his pen - when he heard or saw you coming he ran out - and that rabbit is FAST.  I personally saw this rabbit chased out of our yard by a fox that came in one morning looking to feast on one of our free ranging chickens.  My neighbors just love my little petting farm.  We thought the rabbit could probably outrun the fox but when it didn't come back we figured he lost that race.

Well apparently he was just out exploring the woods, he showed up again this week camped out under the female rabbits pen.  Our female was in heat and the male was back to get some.  So we put out some hay, some food and an animal friendly trap and this morning we caught that rabbit.

I called my husband and he offered to come home and get the rabbit safely out of the trap and into the pen

He got home at 1:00 and I was in the middle of a meeting.  All my meetings are tele-conferences so I put them on mute and went out to help with the rabbit.

As we came back in he followed me back to the bedroom - I'm totally lazy and often work in bed under the covers.  He asked if he could get some action before heading back to work and what do you think the answer was?  I said yes - and he was already standing there with his pants at his ankles, his man parts standing at attention.

I asked him why he was already ready to roll and he replied "because you said yes."  It is just that easy.

And we are in for another triple play - as we had a morning session, a little afternooner and it's early and I'm not working tonight.

Promises Promises

It has been a really busy week as my clients are getting ready for year end processing.  I haven't had much time to post.

Life around here has been really good.  The house is decked out for Christmas, lots of homemade gifts under the tree from the little boys.  We have two trees, the traditional tree upstairs and the man tree downstairs.  The man tree is in our bar and it has a garland of shotgun shells and all of the ornaments are sports related down to the Broncos Santa style hat that tops it.

Weekends have been fun as our teams are having a great football year.  Our favorite college team is number 1. Notre Dame is in my blood, my parents met and married there.  So that is cool to watch.  Our Denver Broncos are on a roll as well, I'm a Bronco fan by marriage - my kids have been born and raised Bronco fans.

Sex has been really good as well.  This morning I was inspired to write this post as it has been something that  I have thought of posting before but when it happened again this morning I figured it was time.

My husband loves to tell me what he is going to do to me later.  He usually approaches me somewhere in the house, pulls me in and tells me exactly what he intends to do that night.  I don't think he realizes that I take that seriously and that when it doesn't happen I am disappointed because I have looked forward to it all day.  Usually we don't follow through because he falls asleep - and a lot of the time it isn't his fault, if something comes up at work I have to deal with it - and if he falls asleep waiting for me I don't wake him.  He would follow through if I woke him.

That happened yesterday - I got caught by a work emergency and didn't crawl into bed until 1.  This time I crawled into bed naked and snuggled up.  He woke right up and made good on his promise.  The next morning he left for work nothing out of the ordinary.  Last night after dinner he said to me "I wanted to fuck you before I went to work this morning but I didn't have enough time."  He went on to say that for some reason he felt like he wanted to have sex 3 times in a day because that used to be so normal and he felt like as he got older it might become less possible - he figured 1:00 am, 7:00 am and then tonight.  So I told him we could certainly set our sights on making that happen tomorrow.

Last night I was pretty tired but told him to wake me up when he came to bed.  I was asleep before he came to bed and if I hadn't woken up naked I would swear that what happened in the middle of the night was a dream.  I think I woke up at least partially once but when I think about it now it is more like a dream than something I participated in.  Now I didn't just lie back either - what I do remember is being on all fours which would require at least some effort on my part.  All is good as it was a good 'dream' so it must have also been a good experience and the best part is that I obviously went right back to sleep - no doubt with a smile on my face.

This morning at about 9:00 I heard my husband get up - brush his teeth and lock our door.  I figured this was round 2 of 3 I could expect today.  I was still in a sleepy state as he crawled back in bed and checked his email.  I figured he would wake me when he was done.  Next thing I heard was him unlocking the door, I must have fallen back asleep as it was 10:30 at this point.  I didn't open my eyes - I just said "you made a promise that you were going to fuck me in the morning - lock that door and get back over here".  So he did. I also took this opportunity to tell him that when he makes promises or threatens to do something to me 'later' I expect that he will follow through and when he doesn't I am disappointed.

So it is 2:19 now and I figure we will no doubt get 3 in, heck I know we are old but it is early and 4 is possible too.

139